I'm not sure how to speak eloquently on something so odd that has shaped me so much.
It was M and Husk in my silver shiny "Generation X", and Jean Grey in the worn library copy of "The Dark Phoenix Saga". It was my Action Girl comics and labeled video tapes of Buffy episodes. It was real life superheroes, standing against every odd and staying strong. It was the day to day superhero, living a life that attempted to be the best life it could be. The idea of a superhero/superheroine is both optimistic and idealist, romantic and oddly depressing that there aren't more of them. It's the antiheroes, the morally ambiguous, watchmen for a time but also the idyllic patriotic caped crusaders that stand to inspire.
I had spent a winter struggling with trying to be the best me I could be and with deciding what I wanted this blog to be, when I heard an episode of "This American Life" about a woman who had set out to be a superhero. She had learned knife fighting, guns, intelligence tactics; all with the hopes of being super human. She was focused on what she had decided was her necessary goal and worked towards achieving it.
While my goals were more in line with "run a 5K" then "learn to use a bazooka", I understood that drive. It's that embarrassing nerdy optimism that you will achieve what you set out to do. What I am setting out to achieve is to live a more Superhero life, one more focused on my role in the world around me and towards going to sleep each night knowing that I am leading my best possible life. Some weeks that goal might be to try something new, some weeks that goal might be to just work towards becoming the best me.
Everyone needs a role model, mine just tend to be drawn out of proportion with a cape.
P.S. If anyone wants to teach me knife fighting or how to use a bazooka, I am down.
There's always a name. Lincoln. Hitler. Gandhi. The name can inspire terror, awe... sometimes great things. But there's millions of people go into making a name. People facing things they couldn't imagine they would. In the moments that matter, even our own names are just sounds people make to tell us apart. What we are isn't that. The real questions run deeper. Can I fight? Did I help? Did I do for my sisters?... There is a chain between each and every one of us. And like the man said, you either feel its tug or your ignore it. I tried to feel it. I tried to face the darkness like a woman and I don't need any more than that. You don't have to remember me. You don't even know who I am. But I do. - "The Chain" Buffy Season 8
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